Wedding planning and the economy

When the Man and I began our wedding planning, we originally wanted to have a very small destination wedding with just immediate family.  I'm really not all that into the the wedding industry as a whole.  Of course, my mother didn't like that idea, and his folks said that they didn't care, but I knew that they wanted to see their little boy get married.  So, to accommodate the family and all of our friends, we decided to have a weekend wedding in Central Texas.  We thought that at least we could get everyone from both sides together in the same place, and it would be so great.   This of course was before we knew the fate of my job situation. 

I basically have been told to find another job because my department will be dissolved and absorbed by the Big Bank.  They have sent me a job description for a position with the Big Bank, but I have to interview against other people in my department and outside. there could be as many as 30 people in the running.  I don't know if I have a fair shot, or even if I want to work at the Big Bank.  I of course have been applying at other businesses, but so is everyone else and the job market is tight.  I am no losing hope, in fact, I see this as an opportunity to find a position that I will thrive in, and truly love, instead of just collecting a paycheck.  

Jumping back to the wedding topic - Not knowing what my future holds as far as a paycheck, makes me loose steam when it comes to the wedding planning process.  All the extra expenses are being looked at, and all the little touches that I wanted to do, will most likely not be in the budget so we don't go into debt and have a good start going forward in our marriage.  We probably won't be able to take a honeymoon, which was one of the things I was so looking forward to.  Such a bummer.  That being said, I almost wish we would have just eloped and done away with the wedding.    But, it's too late.  People are looking forward to it and many people have already bought air tickets, and made their travel plans.  Don't get me wrong, I am excited, but it's hard when if we didn't have this expense, there would much less financial stresses.   It's like this big dark cloud hanging over us.  

Another stress is how this will impact others that have to travel to get there.  Not only am I stressed out about how we are going to pay for it, but we are essentially putting this event on for others  - what if they can't afford to come because of their own economic situation?  I totally understand, but it makes me question the whole ordeal.  

I am excited to get married to the Man. I am excited to be his wife, and to have his children.  I am excited for our future together.  But it is so hard to get excited about our actual wedding without knowing how we are going to pay for it, and knowing it won't have all the details that I wanted to make it perfect. I know in my heart of hearts, that whatever we do will be perfect for us, because it is for us.  My friends and family will not care if the favors were cheaper, or if there is one less appetizer on the menu.  They will be there to support us, and I will be forever grateful for their presence.  And that's why we are continuing to move forward with our wedding.  

And I will be excited about it, damnit!!